Mommy? No one by that name lives here, sorry!

It has been one of those weeks.  You know, the kind that make you question the wisdom of the waiting until after the kids are in bed (or sometimes 4 pm) to have that first glass of wine.  The kind of day that makes you longingly reminisce about the nights when you actually got to sleep.  And I mean real sleep, not that crap you get when you have some little foot lodged in your back and half of your body is hanging off the bed.  

What has given you this kind of week you ask???  Well, my older one has recently decided that he is only going to answer to the name of whatever cartoon character he has decided is his favorite for that particular ten minute period.  You would think at 4 that he would occasionally fall out of character right?  Well then you would think wrong.  He will ONLY answer to the most recently chosen name be it Ben 10, Dino-Rang Skylander, policeman rescuebot, R2D2, or whatever randomness he has come up with.  He will interrupt a scolding to correct you (which makes me want to pull my hair out in clumps), he will refer to himself in the third person using this fictional name, and he expects to be introduced to complete strangers with this name.  As if this was not enough, he has also decided that everyone else gets fictional names as well and we all need to answer to these names and call each other by the names he has decided upon.  It thoroughly perplexes him that my 6 month old does not understand that his name is no longer Charlie but now Yoda, or garbage man rescuebot.  I’m praying that this “game” will end soon…very, very soon. 

My older one has also given himself some kind of imaginary quota regarding the number of times he has to say mom or mommy in a day and that number is sure to rival the national deficit.  He will it say on a continuous loop until he is answered…and many times even after he is answered because he is too busy saying mom to hear me respond.  This of course leads to me raising my voice so he can hear me over the constant drone of “Mom, mom, mommy, mommy, mom, mom….”  and this inevitably leads to a crying 4 year old because mommy hurt his feelings when she raised her voice. 

I have decided to take a page from his book and that I’m going to change my name to something ridiculous too but I’m not giving that name out.  I’m only going to answer to Glorious Princess of Pinot Grigio.  (This is a secret name so please don’t tell him…and maybe not my husband either…bahaha!)  I think it has a nice ring to it and it’s sure to be something that he will never figure out; thus I no longer have to wipe rear ends, make little hotter chocolate milk (THAT my friends is blog entry unto itself) and grilled cheese, turn on/off the cartoons, and answer questions regarding whether or not we are permitted to eat candy and if so how much and if not, WHY NOT?????  Apparently because I said so is not an acceptable answer these days.

Add to this a sick baby, trying to get a few workouts in, homework, and attempting to keep my house from looking like it was ransacked by midget toy thieves who have a taste for sweets and you get the picture….

So in closing, raise your glasses with the Glorious Princess of Pinot Grigio because, look at that!!  It is 4:10!

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